The Male Playbook: The Cindy Margolis

TheMalePlaybook.com was a blog I authored when I was 23 years old.  I was pleased with it in terms of followers and reaction, but when I started a new job, I discontinued it. Now, the 40+ plays in The Male Playbook will be making appearances in Writing Bareback over the next year. Enjoy.

The Cindy Margolis

We all know that guy that’s always with a hot woman. And we’ve all seen the other hot women that want to be with him strictly because he’s already with a hot woman. You’re probably not that guy. So how do you get to be that guy if you don’t have any hot women to start?

In a time before the internet, your best option (assuming those scratcher’s tickets never pay off) was climbing the vaginal ladder. Hooking up with progressively less ugly chicks until you’re in the big leagues. Practice girl arguments aside, it’s not worth it. Instead, just follow the steps of the Cindy Margolis.

Named after the original “most downloaded person on the internet”, the Cindy Margolis isn’t just to make yourself feel better while scoping out hot women on the internet (although that side effect is one of the underbellies of The Male Playbook). Instead, a well-executed Cindy Margolis is a believable profile on a social network like MySpace or Facebook tactically used to make you look like a stud by placing you in the driver’s seat with a digital (albeit fake) hotty. In less than a month, hot women will be fooled into thinking that you only swim in the deep end.

Step 1: Find Your Cindy – Since you’ll be creating a fake profile for a non-existent woman, you need a lot of pictures of the same not-famous person, at least 20 or so to start. Look is crucial, and I’d recommend a blend of seductive and promiscuous. Even though women commonly use the word “slutty” as a negative reference to scantily dressed women, these “sluts” (and I use those quotes vengefully) have the physical confidence that draws out insecurity in other women. Use MySpace’s advanced search settings to find the woman you’re looking for (just click the “bi” check box under orientation for the sluttiest pictures.

Step 2: Build Your Cindy – Your safest bet is to keep it believable. Don’t swing for the fences on the profile. She doesn’t need to own three Taco Bell franchises or love Mario Puzo’s writing. Just fill up the profile with meaningless quotes from fake friends with phrases like “—Amy, the sexiest bitch alive <3”.

Step 3: Friend Your Cindy – Now that the profile is built, you need four or five of your closest friends to be connect with your Cindy Margolis. Also send about 300 friend requests people you’ve never heard of, almost all of whom will say yes because of the look-at-my-boobs profile pic. Then start interacting between yourself and your Cindy Margolis.

Step 4: Step Your Game Up – Start interacting with real women via your online network. If you write on their wall or comment on their status, they’ll at least check out your profile. Once there, they’ll see comments on your wall from your sensual Cindy Margolis saying things like, “OMG!! Last night was SO much fun! LOL. I still can’t believe you did that!!! Call me on Friday.”

And your work is done. Watch as women just lay down for you. Soon Cindy can drift off as she’ll be replaced by the genuine article on your profile. If you’re a real gamer, use multiple Cindys to start, but be careful that you don’t overcrowd the market. Cock-blocking yourself with fake women is not cool.

You’re welcome,
DR

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One response to “The Male Playbook: The Cindy Margolis

  1. Yes, I wrote this three years ago, and I’m well aware that visiting MySpace is about as depressing as visiting a strip club before sundown.

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