Here’s 10 topics that won’t be getting my personal attention on Writing Bareback.
1. Are the best days of cinematic bowling behind us? – I’m still holding out hope for this Wahlberg/Ferrell re-team with the working title “Turkey Bowl”, but it sadly seems to have lost steam.
2. Why morality should still be rewarded in Virgins – The cultural exchange rate on the value of virgins is too tough to work out.
3. Pinky and The Brain: A hidden love story – message boards like this–that try to warp the innocnence of my childhood–make me sick!
4. Commercial Appeal: Sara McLachlan for the SPCA – I was barely able to keep it together long enough to write this sentence.
5.The Male Playbook: “The Golden Retriever” – I’ll let your imagination write this post.
6. Who Does America Love More, Mexicans or Americans? – I really think it’s Mexicans. There’s a love/lust argument and a wife/mistress argument here, but both of them are hard for me to think about. I’d rather pretend the affair isn’t happeneing.
7. The Dusty Television: Street Sharks – Mutant sharks with legs and a good steroid supplier fight crime. I probably should write about this….this or Biker Mice from Mars.
8. The KC Royals vs the Pittsburgh Pirates: Running Diary – One caveat here. If I join a Chinese opium den that picks this game up on MLB Extra Innings, I will do a running diary of this game.
9. O-H, Oh No: William Taft and other sucky Ohio-ans – Ohio is to states what Jersey Shore is to TV. You don’t really like it, but you’re glad it’s around to make fun of.
10. Jeremy Lin – It’s too big. He’s too big. I might crank out an article about the couches he used to sleep on, but that’s about the most I can chew.
Sometimes a man has to to be honest with himself about what’s really important, and I’ve chosen to only blog at the highest level. You’re welcome.