Dollar Shave Club…What’s with the bear?

This is the funniest video I’ve seen in a long time. There are plenty of way better business minds that can break down the branding impact and answer the “if everyone only ordered the $1 razors, could Dollar Shave Club be profitable” questions (besides, despite the high caliber of Writing Bareback‘s content, we’ve accepted that we’ll lose out on interview requests when we go head-to-head with the Wall Street Journal). I have more important questions, and they come up in nearly every scene. Let’s break this video down for all of its genius, entrepreneurial hilarity.

1. How is Michael Dubin an entrepreneur instead of a cast member on The Office? – If you last to the 15-second mark of this video, then you know that the remaining 1:20 is going to be awesome. Dubin’s, “No…Our blades are f***ing great” is a truly passionate deadpan. I think it was the first time I’ve ever had the thought, “This guy could totally steal Pam from Jim.”

2. How much do I already spend on razors? – Dubin throws out $20/month like that’s a regular number, but since my personal budget only breaks out to roughly six line items, razors didn’t make the cut. It’s still a good, subtle point. I’d rather my mediocrely-earned money goes to the actual razor company and instead of a tennis player who has no impact on my shaving experience. Screw Roger Federer, right?

3. Does everyone think their Grandpa was handsome? – I sure as heck think mine was. He had that old-school class that nostalgically trumps the acceptance of the smoking, philandering and in-office drinking of the era (don’t tell me Mad Men isn’t true). And he was clean-shaved his entire life because, “You can’t trust men in beards.” Plus, you take an old-timey photo of anyone and they look good. Doesn’t everyone feel this way?

4. What’s with the bear? – The only question that can’t be logically approached in any way. I tried, and the closest thing I came up with was, “You’d think a shaving company would have a hairless seal or something.”

5. Is Alejandra an illegal immigrant? – Dubin’s impressive LinkedIn resume (which I ignored earlier out of jealousy) says he’s in California. The only thing a Midwesterner like me knows about California is that they’re morally bankrupt and have a large Hispanic community (I’m not necessarily saying those things are connected). I want Homeland Security looking into this girl. I don’t care if Alejandra is incredibly likable; she could very well be occupying a white person’s job.

6. How can I not mention the machete, the sweet fade-out tune, the toddler, Alejandra’s unclear gender, the patriotic homage (that doesn’t clear you, Alejandra), that sweet pun-filled slogan, the Vanderbilt joke, or Dubin’s psychotically decorated office? – Because just as with the Bible, great things can never be fully explained or appreciated.

Loving beards, mustaches, and shaving,
Dustin “Conflicted” Riedesel