A few things I’ve learned in my first quarter life:
Never insult a white man’s W2.
Never insult a black man’s mamma.
Never insult a black woman. Period.
Never call a fat girl fat.
Never call a small man weak.
Never say you know when you don’t.
Never stay up past 2am.
Never eat after 8pm if you can avoid it.
Never try to justify smoking a cigarette.
Never act better than others, even if you are.
Never take what’s not yours, even if you can.
Never suffer any fools, even though they’re there.
Never pick a girl over a friend.
Never pick a girl that isn’t a friend.
Never pick a girlfriend that isn’t a girl.
Never drink from the wrong side of the glass.
Never smell a friend’s fingers.
Never ask what “updog” or “dickfor” are.
Never take any of this too seriously.