Man Up: “Throw your hands up and…” Dance at the Wedding Reception

Within the last few weeks me and my buddy Quint were leaving a good friend’s wedding and were discussing how much fun we had at the reception. No, that wasn’t a typo, we had an awesome time. Let me explain.

Currently we’re about 1/3 of the way through “wedding season.” Most guys (single and spoken for) grunt and groan when they see that save the date hanging on the fridge. Me? I say bring it on.

Sure, a wedding has free food and free drinks. But that’s not the key to having a good time at the reception. At this recent wedding, I knew all of 6 people of 150 before attending. When I left I knew over half of the the folks there and just as importantly…the knew me. I didn’t do it by walking around like a small claims lawyer, jingling change in my pocket and handing out my business card. Sadly, I’ve seen too many men standing on the sideline, treating this like an extension of a business meeting. Talking about stocks and news, etc. Stop it.

Get out on the dance floor and dance. Wedding receptions are a safe haven for everyone to dance. This is especially the case for white guys, who notoriously have zero rhythm. Sorry guys, but you brought this on yourself. Whether you can move like Michael Jackson or if your dance rhythm resembles a dog seizure in the middle of a thunderstorm (I have no idea where that analogy came from, but I’m running with it). Nobody cares what you look like. In fact, even if you’re ridiculously terrible, start doing some interpretive dancing and you’ll be the life of the party.

Why do you want to dance?

  1. The bridesmaids and any single female attendee is dancing. Given the choice for a one night, good time with the mildly attractive guy who is having a hell of a time dancing or the slightly better looking dude sitting around talking shop in his mircle (man circle – it’ll catch on, I swear), She’s gonna choose you.
  2. “Yeah, but Tommy, I have a girlfriend/wife.” Worst excuse ever. Do you think your woman is any different than the single women at the wedding and is not completely turned on by the love and emotion of a wedding? This is an awesome time to show her that you’re the fun, charismatic dude she fell for in the first place. And if it doesn’t pan out that night, you can deposit the night in the marriage bank, and pull it out at a later date. It works that way right? Maybe not.
  3. If that wasn’t enough of a reason, then think about all the food and beer you’re drinking and the work out you missed to go to the wedding and use this to burn calories.

To get you started, here are 3 basic songs/dances (I’ve even included the instructional video for you) you need to know that are inevitable at any wedding. They’re impossible to mess up and will get your dancing juices flowing. Once you’re out there, you won’t wanna leave. Remember, if you go out there and forget how to do it, just kindly ask the cute girl in the blue dress to help you get down. She’ll be asking you to do the same later.

1. The Cupid Shuffle – The instructions are part of the song. To the right to the right to the right to the right. To the left to the left to the left to the left. now kick, kick, kick, kick. Now walk it by yourself. If you mess this one up, there really is no hope for you.

2. Cha Cha Slide -Annnnnd, the instructions are in this song too. They even included white dancers wearing Men’s Warehouse rental tuxes to show you how to do the dance.

3. Shout (Isley Brothers) – There’s really no “dance” to this song. Just do what feels good. Luckily the guys from Animal House made it ok to just flail your body around in convulsions and its considered dancing to this song.

While all the boring shmucks are sitting back drinking their Crown and Ginger “too cool” to shake a leg, you’ll be mingling, meeting people and ENJOYING YOURSELF!

Man up and have a good time,

tc

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5 responses to “Man Up: “Throw your hands up and…” Dance at the Wedding Reception

  1. Favorite part of your blog: “Remember, if you go out there and forget how to do it, just kindly ask the cute girl in the blue dress to help you get down. She’ll be asking you to do the same later.”

    Sure that wasn’t a green dress……

  2. Dustin Riedesel

    My favorite part of this post: “When I left I knew over half of the the folks there and just as importantly…the knew me”.

    I’m going to edit you by saying that “more importantly” they knew you. Who’s cooler, me or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. If you answered, “The People’s Champ would layeth the smacketh down on your jabroni, candy ass,” then you are correct. Why? Because I know who the Rock is, and he doesn’t know who I am….That’s the only reason (no arguments please).

  3. Brandy – names and colors have been changed/removed to protect the innocent.

    and yes, the ultimate “you’ve made it” is when people know you…and you don’t know them.

  4. Catherine Forsythe

    A well deserved and somewhat loud “AMEN” just escaped my lips at my local Jimmy Johns. Were the surprised, and a bit concerned stares worth it. You bet! Enjoyed the article…. And the wedding too.

    Get yo groove on,
    CF

  5. Pingback: Standing In The Fire | Writing Bareback

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