Man Up and Sock it to em

Well fellas, it’s that time of year. The time when sundresses become less and less, days are shorter and the temperature gets progressively cooler. This time of year means no more sandals/flip flops/tevas/etc and “sockless summer” is over. If you wear flip flops when the temperature is <70* because you claim “you’re lazy” or “it’s not really that cold,” I’ve got news for you; lazy = slob and it is that cold. No one wants to see your Casper white feet and vulture talon toe nails this time of year.

What point am I trying to reach? Now is the time of year to rock the sock! Not only does it keep your feet and ankles warm, but I promise you it’s going to attract some positive attention from the lady folk. Ever hear a girl talk about having to go the the mall to get a purse that matches her earrings, which complement her heels, which are a perfect color for her skirt? OK we mostly block that stuff out because, damn it, the games on!! The point is women are all about attention to details. As a guy, we’re not wearing 30 bracelets, earrings and heels, so we need to show some consideration for the details where we can.

Now enter your socks. Whether you’re headed to the office, dressing up for a wedding or just rockin’ some jeans out for drinks this weekend, some flashy foot coverage will amp up your style. Besides you really have no excuse. You can get so awesome styles for cheap from Target, Gap, JCrew, Urban Outfitters, etc. Not Wal Mart, never Wal Mart (or as my Grandma calls it The Walmarts).

Let me start by saying that if you don’t show even a small fraction of socks when you sit down then your pants are entirely too long. I’m not saying you should be walking around like Steve Urkel, but you should be shedding some sock when you sit down.

If you’re like most guys I know any time you dress up you’re probably wearing some plain, boring black socks. They’re probably the one’s you got for free when you rented your suit from Men’s Warehouse or After Hours in the mall for your 12th grade prom or your buddy’s wedding. Or, even worse, you wear your ankle cut gym socks with your new dress shoes. If this is you, you probably also have at least one cell phone clipped to your belt loop; please read on with an open mind.

Like no other part of your wardrobe, your socks are an article of clothing you can really take some chances. I own some pretty ridiculous socks (including socks with cartoon crabs on them: kinda like these) and every time I wear em I get dozens of comments from the ladies. Not only are they grabbing their attention, but they also say “Hey, I’ve got some style, I pay attention to the details and I like to have a good time.” The aforementioned black socks say “I look like your Grandpa when my pants come off.”

What I’m going to do below is start a little more conservative and advance to the much more bold. Start slow if you feel the need, but also don’t be afraid to throw on something with a little more flash. You won’t regret it. Scout’s honor (Disclaimer:  I was never a Boy Scout, so that meant nothing).

The Argyle: This is the classic dress sock. Comes in hundreds of colors and should be an essential part of your wardrobe. In fact, if you only have one pair, you’re losing. The argyle sock is an easy pull with a pair of oxfords or wingtips, but try switching it up and wearing them with a pair of Chuck Taylor’s or even a pair of casual New Balance.

The Stripe: This is one foot in, one foot out. You can find some pretty tame colored stripes which might be a nice entry point for you guys who’ve been stuck in the world of black dress socks. You can also find some pretty bold colors which take the striped sock to the next level. The stripe just let’s the people know you’re hear to have a good time.

The Polka Dot: This is the 3rd degree of flash. Don’t really have to say too much here. I think you get the point. Try throwing on a pair of yellow socks with white polka dots next time you suit up for a wedding and just count the number of compliments you get. Friendly wager – you’ll get more comments and compliments than the number of dots on your socks.

The Pattern: I’ve seen socks with mustaches, anchors, sharks, etc etc. These are not for the faint at heart. It’s a bold statement. It’ll get some positive laughs from the ladies (laughing like you made a killer joke, not like you just farted and picked your nose in public). If you’re not sure, just go for it.

Remember, the sock doesn’t necessarily have to match everything else you’re wearing. In fact, its better if it doesn’t, it’ll look like you’re trying too hard if it does! Try a blue and white plaid shirt with some jeans and a pair of red and green striped socks.

Sock it to em,

tc

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5 responses to “Man Up and Sock it to em

  1. Sock flare.

  2. A) I truly hate socks. I hate the feel of them, the texture, the moist warmth they get…. awful. BUT if you have to wear them, dress socks are best.
    B) You left out one very important reminder. ALWAYS take your socks off before your pants. Nothing makes you look like an old man faster than standing there in your undies and socks.

  3. “If you wear flip flops when the temperature is <70* because you claim “you’re lazy” or “it’s not really that cold,” I’ve got news for you; lazy = slob and it is that cold."

    ^^False. If 65 degrees is too cold for your feet, it only means that you are soft and deserve a swift kick to the nuts by any self-respecting fellow man.

    "No one wants to see your Casper white feet and vulture talon toe nails this time of year."

    ^^True.

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