Confused by the picture? Me too. But a “Raleigh women” search gets what it gets. Let’s try “Raleigh girls“…
…better, but still not exactly the perfect showing for females of Raleigh on Google images (but FYI, the Hooters off of Airport Blvd in Morrisville is top notch!). Now on to the post.
What’s below is a chat I had recently with a former female resident of Raleigh (referred to below as Tricksie, which is the computer-generated, American Gladiotor name of my little sister, who will undoubtedly not love being dragged into this even in the most disconnected terms). She talks about the way girls dress and their mindset in doing so. In true chauvinist fashion, my primary takeaway was that girls are being boring…Whether you agree or disagree, it’s an interesting topic. Check it out (references to real people have been edited out…except for me. It’s really me here).
Tricksie: How’s life?
Dusty: I’m doing good in every aspect except relationally. Career, physicality and the writing hobby are all at highs, and relationally’s not terrible. I’m just at a point where having a choice of four 7s to call on a night is less desirable than being able to call one 9.
Tricksie: Haha, I like the way you put that. Well.. maybe go out and meet some 9’s. Are there none in kickball? I know that’s dumb, but kickball was always a great place to meet people.
Dusty: [edited before ellipses] All the of girls on my kickball team are 9s, and they’re all taken, especially the married mother of two, Katie Waters. It’s like she lives in a constant emotional foursome..I’ll run into one eventually. I haven’t really even had a full month of complete singleness under my belt.
Tricksie: I feel like the girls in Raliegh aren’t as good-looking as the girls in Kansas or Texas. or maybe they are, but they’re really… sorority, or all the same or something. The guys too. I found dating there really difficult. Not in terms of finding someone…There were a mess of available 20-somethings, but in terms of finding someone laid back and different from everyone else there.. and good looking.
Dusty: It does seem that there’s a lot of trending to the middle here. I don’t get wowed very often when I’m out.
Tricksie: Exactly. And ladies there tend to dress for other women (trendy, expensive, etc.), instead of for men (classy T&A).
Dusty: “Classy T&A” has always been my favorite way for women to dress. I just didn’t know it until this moment.
Tricksie: I’ve looked at my NC going out clothes now that I’m back here and I feel almost Mormon. Actually, I went out one night and had on some adorable hippie looking jeans– higher waist and flared a little bit, totally cute Calvin Kleins. I wore them with these great wedges that women love. I started drinking with a table of guys and they flat out made fun of me. I semi-appreciated it, because they’re right, they weren’t going out clothes here, but hell, I don’t own that shit anymore. I need to step my game back up.
Dusty: Hahaha….This is truly enlightening for me, the kind of thing I just assumed I didn’t understand because I’m a guy. But you’re totally right. I might copy and paste this into the blog (name withheld to protect the innocent: you). Excellent points.
Tricksie: Go for it. I think Raleigh natives just don’t know any better. You see normal going out clothes at trashy places like whatsthatplace under Sullivans? The Red Room (R.I.P.) or something like that? But as far as a middle- like T&A on Fayetteville St- where is it? And Five Points- psh, that’s all trendy shit for women, little to look at for men.
Dusty: Equality is misrepresented when it hides the differences that opposite genders appreciate. I don’t think women want to see a man with lifted shoes and makeup, unless your some kind of 80s rockstar.
Tricksie: And they don’t need to be trashy- but Raleigh women should learn that guys like a woman’s body, and not that they should show all of it, but flowy layers of crap do nothing to attract men. Give them a little bit of what they want, cover up the rest in something that is flattering and hides the rest, but gives a good indication of what’s there, and call it a day.
Dusty: Going-out gospel.
Tricksie: But it’s something about understanding that what is trendy on style blogs and boutiques and with your girlfriends is nice… but it’s not typically flattering in the way a man cares about. You can get a long way with men, your bank account, and maintaining self respect in a good pair of jeans and a nice fitted white v-neck T. And a flowy tank can get you far, but it needs to hug the ladies in the right places. Flowy for the sake of flowy just makes a guy wonder if you’re hiding a bad figure under there.
Dusty: I’ve definitely voiced those wonderings on multiple occasions. Jeans and a fitting white v-neck might be my fav thing anyway.
Tricksie: I think they think it’s trashy, but hell- who is out at bars not trying to impress the opposite sex? Either you have someone and you want them to like what they see, or you’re looking for someone and you want them to like what they see. Anyone who says it’s a “girls’ night” is full of shit. No female goes out just trying to impress her girlfriends, though many dress like that’s their intent.
Dusty: Why do they do this? Is it insecurity with their bodies? Is it fear of being chastised by girlfriends?
Tricksie: I think it’s fear of their friends thinking they’re trashy. When we had that Jersey Shore party, I had on a black t-shirt and some baggy, ripped, cropped jeans. My makeup looked like a hot mess, but I wasn’t showing too much of anything (the girls looked nice, but the pants were baggy enough to compensate, but still had shape). Anyway, I met a guy out at Five Points, something I wouldn’t have dared doing in those clothes had I not just left that party. I got the absolute trashiest looks from the girls. They shied away from me in the bathroom and one B scoffed at me.
Dusty: What a B!
Tricksie: The guys, however? I was talked to left and right. One guy bought me a drink the instant his girl went to the bathroom. A guy tried to talk to me while I was holding my guy’s hand. It was madness.
Dusty: Raleigh men are stranded in a non-provacative desert. You walked in like a sexy glass of water. I get it.
Tricksie: Raleigh men are begging for women who look confident, low maintenance, and sexy. I wouldn’t even say that I’m those things, but in Raleigh, I felt like the bar was set pretty low and I could fake it till I made it on those three.
Dusty: So basically girls from Raleigh are playing in the minor leagues when it comes to winning male attention.
Was my last comment dangerously sexist enough to scare off our Raleigh female readership? I’ll let you know if either of them unfollows me on Twitter.
Wearing jeans and a t-shirt for the ladies,