Yeah, it’s Youtube, but I’m counting it towards The Dusty Television. What did I glean from this particular video? That my exclusive method of asking girls out from now on will be sending them a VHS of me talking in over-adrenalized cliches to the camera’s unblinking eye. I’ll inform them of my magazine subscriptions and let them know that I’m kind of into well-shaven legs, but a few days growth isn’t a deal-breaker. Am I into heavy petting? If it’s on the menu. Also, I’m bilingual in the languages of English and love.
I mean seriously, if a VHS with the sender name of “Your Next Lover” and a return address of “69 Golden Street, Heaven” appeared in your mailbox, you’d track down a VCR and be seduced by something very similar to this: