Whenever I have downtime during the day, like when I’m brushing my teeth, driving to work, dropping heat, whenever, I think of things that I do, say, feel in my day-to-day life. Unlike my esteemed blogging colleague Dusty, I don’t try justify all of these things with (sometimes flawed) rationale. Sometimes the only conclusion I can draw for myself is “Why in the hell…”
I’m hoping I’m not the only one who does these things, but at the risk of seeming like a quirkster, I’ve compiled a list of things that I can’t logically explain.
Why in the hell…
- Do I stand 3 inches from the mirror when I floss my teeth? It’s uncomfortable and I have to then wipe the sling shot food and spit off of my mirror regularly.
- Do I own so many damn t-shirts? Especially the free ones from runs, volunteering, intramural teams. They have no sentimental value and consume 2 full prime real estate drawers in my dresser. I think I could change shirts every hour of the work day for a week and still have some to spare.
- Do I look at my reflection every time I walk past a mirror, car window, cool reflective glass, etc?
- Do I have Easter 2012 candy still on my dresser? Those Peeps are hard and so unappetizing. It’s been a year. Time to drop those in the trash.
- Is my keyboard so filthy? When I tip it over there is enough junk (crumbs, hair, random paper clip) for a resourceful bird to build a quality nest for her eggs.
- Do I check Facebook from my laptop? Lay in bed and pull it up on my phone? Plug my phone in, then pull it up on my iPad? The world’s moving fast…but not that damn fast.
- Do I fold my undies? (read: Boxer briefs, because that’s what a grown-ass man wears). Am I going to be so appalled with scrunched up, wrinkled drawers that I’d rather just go commando for the day?
- Do I own a loofah? Somehow the thing has dust on it…and it’s in the shower. Better question, who was the first person to spell ‘loofah’? Doesn’t ‘loufa’ or ‘lufa’ feel so much better to spell?
- Do I make 4 cups of coffee in the morning and only ever drink 2 and a half? Related news, I also now have 4 coffee mugs half full of coffee on my bathroom sink.
That’s all for now. I’m sure I’ll think of some more tomorrow morning in the shower. Why do I have a nail brush scrubber in there?
I welcome you to join in on this by adding your own “Why the hell…” situations in the comments. It’s quite therapeutic (got that spelling on the first try – maybe I should have been a professional speller for a living).
Tommy “Henry David Thoreau” Cooksey