Daily Archives: February 13, 2013

How ‘Hipster’ are you? A 10 Question Quiz to determine your level of ‘hipness’

Much like the words “literally” and “ironic” I’ve found the word “hipster” to be an overused and inaccurately pinned word. Much like the former 2 words, it seems people don’t generally understand that it makes no sense to use the word “literally” followed by some exaggerated statement; “I literally at like 100 hot dogs on Memorial Day.” Or when someone uses “ironic” in place of “coincidence” like their interchangeable words. Sorry, you’re not Eli Whitney.

So too is the word “hipster.” Just because something/someone is slightly different or trendy doesn’t make it/them a hipster. Now you’re wondering, “Am I a hipster?” I’ve put together a 10 question quiz below for you. Answer honestly. At the end, total all of your points (answers numbered 1-4) to see just how hip you really are.

Question 1: It’s your turn at the bar. The bartender asks “What can I get you?” you reply:

  1. Bud Light
  2. Jack and Diet Coke
  3. Do you have any local microbrews?
  4. PBR. Tall Boy.

Question 2: Your plans for this weekend are?

  1. Rager. Hangover. White boy wasted.
  2. Hosting a “Beers from Around the Globe” party
  3. Blogging.
  4. Checking out a new art gallery and shopping at the farmer’s market

oOoOoO Look at that sweet filter!!!

Question 3: What is your primary means of transportation?

  1. Pick-up truck
  2. SUV
  3. Prius
  4. Fixie (if you don’t know what this is, don’t Bing it, just choose 1, 2 or 3).

Question 4: How would you describe the pants you’re wearing today?

  1. Shorts. I always wear shorts.
  2. Pleated khakis
  3. Not sure, my wife/girlfriend bought me these
  4. Skinny jeans. But definitely long enough to cuff

Question 5: In your closet right now you have ___ plaid shirts?

  1. Does a polo shirt count?
  2. 1-3
  3. 4-6
  4. 7+

Question 6: Are you going to see the Black Keys on tour this summer?

  1. I LOVE the Black Eyed Peas!
  2. Is it part of the Country Mega Ticket? No? Then, no.
  3. Yeah I’ll go. It’s gonna suck sitting in the lawn when I saw them in the pit at Bonnaroo TWO YEARS AGO. They were so much better then.
  4. No. As far as I’m concerned, they’re way too commercial. El Camino might as well have been written by Nickelback.

Question 7: My current mobile phone is a _______.

  1. Android
  2. Flip phone…but its got a QWERTY keyboard!
  3. iPhone 4 (or lower)
  4. iPhone 5

Question 8: What is your go-to Instagram filter?

  1. What the hell is an Instant Gram? I don’t do drugs.
  2. Kelvin
  3. Walden
  4. Nashville

Question 9: When the sun is shining bright you always reach for your _____.

  1. Visor
  2. Oakleys
  3. Aviators
  4. Ray-Ban wayferers

Question 10: Summer is coming, what type of pants/shorts will you be rocking?

  1. Budweiser swim trunks. Can’t go wrong there. (If you truly choose 1, please see this link for help)
  2. The shortest coral shorts I can buy from J.Crew
  3. Well-fitted khaki shorts.
  4. Cut-off skinny jeans, that I cut into shorts myself.

Now based on your selections, add up your point totals…(drum rolllllllllllll)

If you totaled:

10-17 – My my, how the roles have reversed. You used to be the cool jock/homecoming queen scoring all of the attention from the opposite sex. Now you lack any culture, sense of style or music and that skinny jeans, plaid shirt wearing hipster is getting all the love. It’s ok though, you’ll still be a shining star at frat parties and Kenny Chesney concerts!

18-25 – You’re in luck! You have some sense of fashion OR irony OR culture; but you don’t have it all. You probably have no idea what a vlog is, or have probably never eating a vegan chicken nugget (OMG so GOOOODDD) In some social settings you have idea of what is cool and trendy, but your grandma and her retirement home, bridge-playing friends think anything post WWII is “the trendy thing the kids are getting into these days.” Embrace the part of you that’s hip, and work hard “hipping” up the rest (but don’t try too hard because that’s just not cool).

26-33 – In most situations people are probably going to call you a hipster. You’re never seen without a pair of skinny jeans, a plaid shirt, an ironic (not really ironic anymore) mustache while sipping on 24oz of the Blue Ribbon. Hell you might even blog about music, style and what makes a hipster. But something’s missing. You’re just not as plugged into the hipster social and music scene like you should be. Your more hipster friends will accept you and celebrate when you’re around. But when you’re not, they’ll secretly scoff at the fact that you don’t own a fixie all while they Instagram pictures of their 100% local grown and raised organic meal with a kick-ass Nashville filter.

33-40 – You’ve done it. You’re hip. You and your friends were hipsters before being a hipster was the hip thing to do. What others call skinny jeans you call jeans. What the general public calls “a new CD” you call a “viynl.” You always know what’s going on downtown and if it involves art or local food, you can bet you’ll be riding your fixed gear bike to that event and judging the hell out of everyone there who DARES to show up without a proper fitting cardigan or blazer. But you didn’t need some test to tell you that. In fact, if you scored >33 you probably stopped reading at the title (because reading blogs is so 2012). So these last 60 words or so are probably a waste of space.

Images {IMG Donkey Pitchfork  The State Hornet  Neatorama Cyanide and Happiness {The Atlantic}

“Where I’ve Been Online” Wednesday, 2/13/12

In a triple-threat effort to entertain, self-aggrandize and be less creative, I’m going to start sharing where I’ve been on the Internet every Wednesday. Because of the alliterative sweetness of double W’s, I’m fairly confident this will be a big hit. Here’s where I’ve been this week:

Toledo Runners Sex Scandal, Deadspin.com Any story that focuses on the always poignant “when does it become rape” debate is sure to entertain. In those regards, this one did not disappoint. In a nutshell, a cross country coach was banging his players, and one girl turned him in using saved texts as evidence (not proof) of the man’s nigh-rapiness.

Allow me to ramble for a moment.

While there are a lot of things to talk about here, I think one is more interesting than all the others. Given the ever-changing digital landscape, aren’t we at a historical high point for chances of a criminal (or at least job-threatening) level of creepiness getting recorded? That age-old wisdom of “anyone over half your age plus seven years is okay to date” might be going out the window. If I’m 38, there’s a solid chance that I’m over-extending myself on a medium I don’t understand (gTalk, Facebook, new phone operating systems, anything cloud-based, “I didn’t know they could screenshot my self-deleting SnapChat”, etc). I used to tell people, “Get in shape or date older.” Now I’m going to tell people, “Be on the bleeding edge of technology or date older.” In the future, I’ll tell people, “Don’t be a cheating, rape-prone deucher.”

Adam Carolla Podcast w/ Sasha Grey, AdamCarolla.com – I’m a podcast fiend. I listen to them in my car, in the shower, on busses, while working out, cooking, and cleaning if I did that. Adam Carolla was SO money  on this particular pod. Phrases worthy of highlight:
-“The jet ski by the river is the natural predator of deusche bags.”
-“My sexual style is ‘nothing to prove.’”
-“You don’t dabble in rape.”

Inside the Battle of Hoth: The Empire Strikes Out, Wired.com

I have other interests besides ex-pornstar podcasts and college sex scandals. How can you not enjoy trolling THE MOST BELOVED SEQUEL OF ALL TIME? Breaking down grievous strategic mistakes by the Intergalactic Empire’s military with rich textual and diagrammed detail, the article really sums up all you need to know about Emperor Palpatine’s fall from rule: Don’t place unaccountable religious fanatics in wartime command.

Arcadia Fire’s “Wake Up” lyrics, azlyrics.com – Every now and then you hear a song randomly and it touches you, then you go read the lyrics you were only kind of listening to and you realize that what you thought was a light nostalgic caress was really a surgical strike to heartfelt regrets. Grow the hell up and stop wasting your opportunity to live life the right way….good tune.

Dom Mazzetti vs Stuff, Youtube.com – This is one of those black holes in the YouTube-verse where 45 minutes passes with corn-like ease. It’s NSFW unless you have headphones, so you know it’s good. You prob want to start with the YOLO video below, but they’re all the same “guido riffs hilariously on life” concept. My favorite line from the ones I’ve watched: “Dieting is like relationships. It’s not cheating if you’re drunk.”

Reader Submission of the Week

How did I find the other stuff? Who knows, but every week I’ll place my favorite thing that a reader sent to me. This week:

From: Cball
Subject: One for Mr. Cooksey
Comment: Something that touches on how ridiculous hip hop has gotten.  This video may give you some creative inspiration:


Well, I didn’t turn that into anything other than what it is, but it is appreciated nonetheless. Well, I’m off to explore more of the final frontier, which would be the Internet and not “ugly chicks” as Dom Mazzetti would tell you.

See you next week,