Pete Maravich Wasn’t A Grown Up Harry Potter. Sorry To Ruin Your Day

“Pistol” Pete Maravich was more of a Wizard than a man. When NBA Hall-of-Famer John Havlicek said, “The best ball handler of all time was Maravich,” he conveniently forgot to mention that Pistol controlled basketballs with a three-curse blend of Asgardian magic, The Force and a wunderkind knack for cajun Voodoo. It’s long been rumored that JK rowling wrote that BS-epilogue where Harry Potter marries Ginny Weasley to hide the real truth, that Harry grew up, moved to Louisiana and went straight HAM on the basketball court! It was a real debate that you, me, and everyone else on planet Earth participated in because it was impossible to believe that Pistol Pete had the same human blood beating through his probably centaur-sized heart as the rest of us.

Well, the debate is over. And it turns out that Pete wasn’t a cheeky, magical boy-hero with a radical, quarter-life career change. The proof will hurt you. And it’s in a picture at the bottom of this post. If you value your innocence, just whisk your Chrome or Safari or Netscape Navigator to safer pastures. Try MediaTakeOut.com. The shocks there aren’t as filthy.

Let me just make one final apology. We here at Writing Bareback work hard to establish a positive atmosphere. It’s a big internet, and you could waste your time on any number of sites. We get it. But you chose to here, and we’re grateful for that. You’re reading this now because on some level, it’s the option that you deemed best. We should be making your life better with every word you read. It’s the unspoken trust between blogger and peruser.

I’m sorry to break that trust today, but we’ve come across something that has crippled us on such a foundational level that the only way to avoid our sanity being crushed is by spreading the burden over many minds. Brace yourself to as we present a legend brought low.

Merlin’s beard! The formerly god-like celebrity is just like us.

Go get some water. Take a walk, with deep, life-affirming swallows of fresh air. You’re still here. We’re all still here. It’s okay.

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