Daily Archives: September 17, 2013

Chiefs Fan Log: Mining Optimism as a Fan Gets Tasered in Arrowhead Stadium Parking Lot

Arrowhead Stadium used to be one of the most feared venues in all of sports. The stadium looked like a Red Sea of drunken Midwesterners whose BBQ-fueled roars were made deafening by their corn-fed lungs. The 90s were great.

Chiefs fans like myself are super optimistic about this season. It just feels like we’re a real club again. Andy Reid and Alex Smith, despite their roller-coaster pasts, feels like the second coming of Marty Schottenheimer and Rich Gannon. While that might not sound awesome to successful franchises, it definitely beats a guy who couldn’t even start at QB in college (behind guys who proved incapable of playing the NFL) and a head coach who wasn’t even smart enough to make up a reason why his best player only had five carries. Chiefs are currently 2-0. Things are looking up.

Now there’s this video of a Chiefs fan getting tasered by the cops, and it’s a little depressing. You see the guy’s buttcrack, the futility of his struggle, and you think, “C’mon man, the Chiefs are doing okay this year. You’ve got a lot to be excited about. This is no time to get tazed. Or is it tasered? I’m not really sure how the past tense of that verb is used, but you get the spirit of what I’m saying right? I mean, maybe save getting, uh, zapped for when Peyton Manning, destroyer of worlds, eviscerates the Chiefs and makes you feel a desire for civil punishment as a flagellating distraction from the far worse emotional pain of defeat. You know?”

On the bright side, this appears to be a crime of passion, whatever he was doing. And that passion comes at the tail-end of a raucous Chiefs crowd and a gritty Chiefs win. We’ll sort out the behavioral issues as we adjust to the success. But Kansas City football is back! And Arrowhead is rocking! KCPD is ready, are you?