Sports quotes are mostly clichéd. They just go unnoticed, and sometimes that’s on purpose, like with everything “The Hoodie” says:
“Any time you lose yardage in the running game, there’s a mistake somewhere.” – Old Bill Belicheck
The guy NEVER says anything interesting. Whatever. Let’s just move on.
Everyone knows the classic quotes like Bobby Knight saying, “When my time on Earth is gone, and my activities here are past, I want them to bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass,” or the all-timer from Jimmy V, “Never give up! Failure and rejection are only the first step to succeeding.” But there’s so much out there that I wanted to find some more obscure quote gold, the Spanish doubloons of quotes. Here’s what I found:
[editor’s note: About halfway through, we realized this should’ve been a “funny quotes” post. You’ll notice the transition. Just remember: we’ve never written a bad blog, we just ran out of time.]
1. “It’s like a relationship. If you’re still together, it shows improved strength and consistency and how solid the relationship is.” – Pau “THE Spanish Doubloon” Gasol, on what he thinks about the Lakers always trying to trade him. What a nice guy.
2. “People may look at me crazy, but I’m not the type of person who puts ceilings on anything. Why be happy with just making the playoffs. What’s the point of that? Who wants to work out so we can just play in April and just go home? Why can’t we just go to the championship and just win it? You know what I mean? If that’s not the goal you’re trying to play for and you don’t feel like when you’re in uniform you have a chance to do so, then we should just go home right now.” – Jarrett Jack, on why life is like a convertible.
3. “Are you willing to push the right buttons even if it means being perceived as the villain? … I’d rather be perceived as a winner than a good teammate. I wish they both went hand in hand all the time but that’s just not reality. … I have nothing in common with lazy people who blame others for their lack of success.”– Kobe Bryant, who had apparently just watched The Dark Knight.
4. “God blessed me with a lot of heart and no height, and I’ll take that any day.” – Nate Robinson on his Grinch-like superpowers
5. “Thanks for the shout-out, Nate. But, uh, you’re welcome? I mean, you’ve seen the LeBron package, right?”– God, presumably.
6. “Half the lies people tell about me aren’t true.” – Yogi Berra. This is well-known, but I include it because I will never figure out what it means.
7. “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.” – Phil Jackson, according to Kobe at least. The internet says it belongs to William Arthur Ward, but if you’re lazy enough to blame the internet for your ignorance, then Kobe has nothing in common with you.
8. “Get chicks or die trying.” – JR Smith in his high school yearbook
9. “You trying to get the pipe?” – JR Smith in 2013. The game has changed, but the player is the same.
10. “I don’t think there’s anybody in this organization not focused on the 49ers…I mean Chargers.” – Young Bill Belichick, and that explains a lot.
God is a fantastic athlete,
Dusty “Born with Height” Riedesel