The 6 Essential Break Up Songs From Guys Who Know Break Ups

One day, you might go through a break up. Make a mental note that this post is here to help you get through it.

Miley’s a real person.

Dusty: How do you judge the quality of a break-up? How grandly disastrous the split was? How great the relationship itself was? Not many people sit around saying, “Now that was a hell of a break up.” Everyone always focuses on what it was before the ending. And I’m no different. This tune, voiced gloriously by America’s slutty best friend, Miley Cyrus, showcases all the worst emotions of a trip to splitsville. When you think you’re actually on target with that magic, that space between, that indescribable something that makes two out of six billion feel as if there is a God and a plan and a purpose for everything that’s ever happened to lead you to this single existing counterpoint of your soul…well, when that goes to shit, you play this tune and feel sad. And somehow you feel better because Miley’s as sad as you are. I’ll just say this, you should feel pretty good if this song makes you feel all of those things, because no matter how grandly disastrous the split was, you know you were in love. And it was probably awesome.

PS. Bob Dylan wrote this. Never forget, Bob Dylan wrote every hit song ever recorded.

Your Hair is….

Tommy: Here’s the premise. Guy sees a note. He reads it over and again. He doesn’t comprehend anything in said note (because its not addressed to him). But he does recognize who signed it “I will love you always and forever.” Pause. Let that sink in. DAGGERRRRRRR! She’s cheating on him!

As guys, we know that much like dogs pee on things to mark their territory, a woman’s hair gets left everywhere. Shower, your clothes, pillows, etc etc etc. When Chris Carraba wines “Your hair is everywhere,” I think we can all relate.

Just let the bottle of Beast take you home.

Endings, right?

Dusty: I wrote a little bit about rebirth and hope being woven into the fabric of creation this weekend. Sunrise. New Year’s. Spring. Monday. Beginnings happen on a routine basis, but that means ends happen too, and people hate endings. I mean, how many damn sequels make up the summer blockbuster schedule? Better Call Saul is going to jump in to fill the Breaking Bad void. Hell, Joey was a real show. We always want more. We need continuity. But sometimes, you just have to accept that it’s done. Date her friend or her sister or whatever you need to do to feel whole, but it won’t be the same. Frankly, looking for continuity after a break-up is a fool’s game. Maybe you find someone like that person who dumped you, but if that’s what you’re looking for, then everything she does will be noticeably tainted by the ex’s character traits. It’s over when it’s over.

Yeah, it’s over.
Yeah, it’s over.

F*#% It, AmIRight?

Tommy: Judging by the 4.2 million views on YouTube people either really love coping with break ups to this song, or really just think its such a bad song that its actually good.

Every one deals with break ups a little differently. Eamon, this man believes in a clean cut. “She gone” if you will. I mean, he throws an entire NY style pizza off of the table in the video! Oh the angst!

We deliver the edited version here on WBB, because Moms may read this, but I encourage you to look up the unedited version – some of the lines are a real hoot.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I know every lyric to this song.  I just can’t figure out why he was a one-hit(ish) wonder?!

Am I the only one who think Eamon looks like a Hispanic Drake?

I need a Whitesnake jean jacket.

 

Dusty: ANTHEM! For my money, no song will ever touch Whitesnake’s ballad of solitude. It’s almost not about breaking up at all because it’s so convinced of its lonely place in this world. Like being in a relationship was a nice cruise in the Bahamas and it’s time to get back to work in your Carolina cubicle. But that’s not quite right. This song makes you feel cool to be alone again, a wayward soul untamable by modern expectations of domesticity. You want me to enjoy a nice dinner and conversation with your parents? I’d rather ride around in a classic muscle car with a tacky suit and unkempt hair until I meet a wry broad with an uncertain amount of sexual morality. Guess what, America? I’m a lone wolf, and I’m hungry.

Ok, Ok, I’m still and Emo Kid

Tommy:  Yep, I was an Emo Kid from 10th grade through college. I have pictures of the calico hair and girl jeans to prove it. Sometimes that overly sensitive, musical part of me resurfaces in this blog and I bring you songs like “Letdown” by This Providence. If you couldn’t see the video, you might wonder: A) Is this a guy or girl singing? B) If said singer is a guy, how tight are his skinny jeans for him to sing that high pitch? Regardless, after any break up, we all feel like a letdown in some respect. In this case, you’re a letdown and all your friends feel the same. Oh and, she never loved you anyway and she never will.

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