Hello Exercise and Dieting, My Old Friends (Whom I Also Hate)

Those that know me know that I’ve spent the majority of my adult life almost dieting. It’s always going to happen next week. Well, next week is finally this week. I’m dieting again. It’s just the most obvious sign that I’m not who I wish I was. Whatever. Get ready for Riedesel 6.0, launching in October…he’s basically a guy who can fit into Large t-shirts, but there’s a subtle thrill there.

There’s an interesting correlation between vanity and self-loathing that takes hold during a body reinvention. On one level, you obviously care a great deal for your appearance to eat carefully and purchase so much sweat equity in the gym. But on a different level, you have to be a little unhappy with your physical state to muster up that kind of drive. People kind of ignore that second part. It takes the shine off the apple. Fitness always gets crafted inside of a motivational message.

“The human body is the best picture of the human soul.” – Ludwig Wittgenstein

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” – Jim Rohn

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.” – Joan Rivers

God bless Joan Rivers, the dearly departed. She’s right. If exercising wasn’t good for you, it’d be the worst. It makes you tired and sore, both things that are roundly accepted as unpalatable. Video games and beer is more fun than a protein shake and burpees. Pizza will always be better than kale. #fitfacts

That said, because I am vain and get off on some serious self fat-shaming, we’re rolling with this body reinvention thing. It’s a pretty complete plan, and I’ll let everyone know how it goes…if it works that is. If it works, you’ll be lambasted with “casual” pictures of scenarios where I happen to be shirtless. Here’s Dusty just casually hanging out on the basketball court, shirtless. Here’s Dusty casually hand-vacuuming the table linens, shirtless. Here’s Dusty casually taking a picture of himself in a mirror while trying to look like he’s not flexing to the point of passing out, shirtless. That’s just how we use the internet these days, people. If it doesn’t work, then you won’t hear anything about it until New Year’s, when I inevitably try again.

Diet – Doing this Whole30 thing and then a standard paleo plus supplements. If it works out, then details will be shared.

Workouts – 6am strength training, Mon/Wed evenings basketball, Tue/Thur evenings crossfit metcons.

Given what I’ve seen from friends and penemies (co-blogger Thomas), I’ll probably have plenty of mundane stuff to write about after a few weeks of crossfit. “Bro, that WOD was hella tough.” Might even get some shoulder ink done. Who can say!? Should be nice development for everyone in the Bareback village here.

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